Jager Bomb, Jager Bomb, Jager Bomb

Jager bombs very dangerous things!

So it's Friday night you are going in town with friends from work whats the worst that could happen..............

I arrive by Porsche courtesy of Helen Smith, by the way i will only now travel by Porsche! Good start to the evening we meet Ross and Nicola and my downward spiral starts...... TN4- Long Island Ice Tea (containing 5 shots) Champagne Mojitos.......... Led down a dark Alley that actually turned out to be a very steep slope by Andrew Tapping...... The Other Tapping (mrs) appear making some very odd noises after nearly stacking it on several occasions due to her selection of footwear! We arrive at the last post just about in one piece... the sign on the door read "over 30's" it's been a while since i've worried about not being able to get into places.... it turns out that our party nearly doubled the amount of people in the place so i think they were happy for the custom...... Double Vodka's....... The staggering continues to P&P whilst screaming at James Mansell as he ran down the road to rekindle the Bromance.

More double vodkas, jager bombs, shots, more double vodkas.............. It's a strange concept when you see people in a completely different light for those of you who attended the evening you will know who i mean..... Helen was enjoying herself on the dance floor and then was joined by Mr T who threw some pretty awesome shapes :) After many toilet stops (for the Tapping), one of which James joined us in the ladies toilets this was shortly before he was asked not to even though in his own words "it's alright mate i know these two"

Helen stayed put we left in search of the kebab shop, Andrew ran ahead to order the food and we staggered (and yes i do mean that) towards the bottom of the hill, with me wearing Helen's cashmere as a headdress and behaving in a very irresponsible manner! Tapping fell to the floor in a very elegant fashion and the street pastors asked us if we were ok, offering flip flops which in hindsight we should have just taken for amusement value more than anything! This led to what shall only be described as a very interesting sit in a bus stop and then journey home!

The next day however was a totally different ball game.......... i now know what the feeling is when you wake up and can't move your head because you think you might just puke everywhere... i very cautiously made it downstairs, showered and into some form of outfit for work. Saw the night befores kebab in reverse and then drove (i actually don't know how) into work. I can safely say i felt grim all day and i'm not sure how i made it to the end of the day!!!! Especially when everyone else was off and recovering.

I think i remember the line "i'm never drinking like that again..." (we all know thats a lie!)

The Saturday night meant i was going out again this time to a festival in a field, strange concept but for a good cause and to support a good friend so all in all good fun :)

The week at work has been odd with bullies and people who we clearly all hate.....

Thursday night saw us descend upon Tunbridge Wells again, this time for Jim Stapely's gig at Trinity. A good fun night was had with The Tapping and Hels, after Kitsu (YUM) we headed for the Trinity to watch Jim. I have to say this because he is a friend but i do genuinely mean it he is a brilliant performer and i enjoyed every part of the evening... i enjoyed it even more once the drunks started falling about and providing the entertainment :)

Friday saw a day of practical jokes on Terry, wheelchairs, Tappings Backdoor trouble, people being sick, people needing help in toilets, prep for theatre productions, last days and lots of laughs.... Canterbury tales were........... interesting shall we say, not my cup of tea but the customers definitely seemed to enjoy it :) the evening was topped off by a trip to Tapping Towers. Which evolved into a late night/early morning looking at pictures and telling tales, i have to say very enjoyable and much needed after the excitement of previous events! Even if it did mean i got three hours sleep before work! (it was worth it for the Xena cuddles :)

My curse of having to attend first aid hasn't ended today saw me attending another one, there is something about Sundays.... This time it was in the house, just as me and George were about to have our compulsory "catch up" tea the radio goes "Chloe to George" odd as Chloe wasn't due to be working "the pager is going for the Red Bedroom" (you can hear the pager going nuts in the background) George disappears off and then comes back for me as it's first aid for a collapsed customer, who then proceeds to tell me that she feels really sick. All i can think is SHIT we are in the house please don't be sick on the carpet, walls, beds, books or ME. Luckily the Gooderson/Edwards combo got her outside before she puked everywhere. I do love dealing with customers sick and then writing pages of boring paperwork because people aren't responsible and sit in the sun and get sunstroke!

Later on i get a call from the car park about a volunteer who has left their dog in the car, i go to visit the car park and the dog i quote "i say dog it was big enough to ride" was going nuts in the back of the car. Off i go to find George to help me track down the ponies owners..... This lead to a casual chat in the corridor by the back door of the house, where we discussed the new Scotney rule...

Any pets big enough to be ridden must not be bought with you to work!

Tapping tries her new party trick!

Xena waiting for bedtime at about 2:30am

Yummy dinner 

Helen and Where's Wally at the gig! 

Days of Peace with a little bit (ok a lot) of war mixed in!

I felt so strongly about this that i will have blogged twice in one day! Today i went to the War and Peace show at the Hop Farm. As most of you will know from my many stories i worked there for what felt like forever but was in fact 5 years of my life! Therefore working 5 of these "different" events. Going today as a visitor was bringing back so many memories most of which good ones!

I remember in the beginning 2004 little or no knowledge of the event, loads of customers, our own special T-Shirts, litter picking (with Bert who at the time was the scariest man alive but was a big softy once you got to know him!) and generally just feeling really tired.

In 2005 i was part of the "Cru" we were and always will be the best set of staff that the Hop Farm will ever know and it was officially the best place to work. Again T-shirts issued we were poised on our tills in reception waiting to open the automatic doors at opening time! With a queue back down to the car park. 2005, saw the competition begin between two teams, myself and Ellen and Nancy and Amy, the competition was on to collect as many free items as possible from around the show whilst litter picking and trying to avoid Bert who if he caught you slacking would find you some horrible job to do! This was also the year Dieter thought it was hilarious to put me in the NAFFI shop, not so funny for me early starts and late finishes selling fags to people in fake uniforms carrying guns...... I think this may have been the first year that i attended the party on the Sunday evening although we didn't really know a lot of people at this point!

2006 saw the invasion of Simon Hume-Kendall, Debbie and Jan. Not really knowing a lot about these people, i worked in reception again by this point properly knowing what i was talking about, doing the currency exchange in the reception. I remember fondly starting at 7am every day getting set up and getting all the tills out of the safe room and then staying till the end cashing them all up.... I didn't really know a lot about Debbie and Jan at this point apart from they were running around in security uniforms acting like they knew everything and collecting money off us. Debbie had hired a campervan that was parked outside reception on the grass, we sat there and ate noodles one night after we had locked up, i seem to think that was the night that Debbie did her knee in, working the night shift and then couldn't walk the following day! The start of a friendship that would very much have an impact on my life ...... although there have been some rough patches i'm glad i made the choices that i did........

2007 my favourite year by this point i had my SIA license i had the stab vest and i was ready to see a whole other side of the show! I moved in to the caravan on the Saturday before the show and then duty began patrolling, checking on entrances, fences, campers etc. Then the show days began, more patrolling, plenty of eating, lots of cooking, lots of laughter and excellent company in Malcolm's swamp, especially with the pole dancing and radio war and peace the explicit version as well as good time in the Barmy Army encampment. Then the public days began, Red official shirt and the day job to do running the admissions in the day and then the black security uniform in the evening. Working from 6am in the morning when the officials breakfast and briefing began until the bars shut the following morning at 3am for 5 days solid. Sorting out fights in bars, sleeping on loads of money, First aid, getting up in the middle of the night not knowing what the hell is going on, gas and air consumption with the one and only Medix team and lots of funny moments. Best of all quad biking in the arena once everyone else has gone obviously checking all was "safe". The weather was grim the ground was like a mud bath but the spirit of the show remained and all was well at Beltring. The party this year was something else, the best of the best, everyone was there and i had the free drink vouchers always a winner. It was a good night although the drink went straight to my head having had about 15 hours sleep over the past 5 days! Debbie my partner in crime didn't make it to the party, she was too tired but me Katey and Kate stayed in the caravan that night, i seem to remember they all got sent home from work the next day for being too hungover/drunk?!? This was after Kate fell asleep on the grass outside!

2008 was to be my final War and Peace and i only managed the run up security duties and the first public day before i was rushed into hospital direct from the show........ However i could feel it changing it wasn't the same Debbie was about to have Charlie, Reception was being run by others and Jon Rush was after my job! The 5th and final War and Peace actually marked the end of my time there and i have to say there were a lot of other tales of War and Peace that aren't suitable to be told on here!

Fantastic memories and what a show to be a part of you don't realise what goes into it until you get under it's skin and made one of the team!

Booking in, yes it was slightly damp, somebody crashed into someone else because they couldn't stop!

Dinner in the luxury of the freelander aka death trap

The 2007 team :) 

They do take it a bit far sometimes!

Cadburys, National Trust, Alton Towers, Take That, Random Waffling all with a touch of Purple Rain!

It feels like forever since i last blogged but for some reason i had a massive urge to update it so hold on tight here we go!

So since i was last here a lot has happened the Tic Tac has well and truly gone and the DOJ is back on the road :) Running like a diamond and already racking up the miles on the new engine.

I've been all over the place mainly on my little holiday with Robyn, Cadbury world, stayed in a Travel lodge somewhere where i thought i might get stabbed in the night (it was above a wilko's), then on to Derby again not so sure on my safety! Main incident at that Travel lodge was Robyn being allergic to the washing powder on the sheets on the most uncomfortable bed EVER! So she slept hardly at all and witnessed me sleeping like i was in a coffin :( Visited Calke Abbey which was amazing and well worth a visit to anyone who is up that way! Then off to the main highlight ALTON TOWERS :) Two fun filled days of screaming, feeling like you are going to vom and then going and doing it again because you think it's fun! Thirteen was awesome and totally not what i expected, and because of the awesome National Trust discounts it was cheap as chips as well which is always a bonus! One downside the skyride wasn't working that meant walking everywhere FAIL that valley and gardens look all quaint and nice not so much...... they are steep and horrible i nearly died on the walk over there.....

Now a selection of pictures for you from the 2 albums that i will shortly be uploading to Facebook......

 

Calke Abbey on a bit of a dark day.

Me outside the Alton Towers Hotel our home for the night :)

Highlight of Alton Towers THIRTEEN

An oldie but a good one none the less 

We left our mark at Cadbury world in Chocolate :)

So next is a little musical update recently i seem to have branched out into listening to some new music and discovering some awesome remixes of some classics. The past month or so has also been massive on the live music front for me as well. I went to Take That twice.... at Wembly Stadium, amazing evenings both times although the first time would have been better without the 5 hour car journey to get there FAIL. But the boys didn't disappoint the evenings were both great and Robbie was ok i suppose. 

A little glimpse of the action as we got covered in yellow confetti! 

But bigger and better than Take That which i never thought i would say was the Scotney Massive outing to the Hop Farm Festival! What a day... thanks to Lorna Morris i somehow managed to end up in the hospitality suite for the Hop Farm, so got to see loads of faces... some i didn't want to see but hey ho! I had a few to many pints of cider but it was all god fun and was an awesome day. The main attraction though was amazing, Prince blew everyone away and i have to say that at the beginning i wasn't really looking forward to Prince but The Tapping and George assured me he would be worth the wait and worth the ticket price! I've never seen such a diverse audience at a festival, it was quite something to see and after 3 encores he finally finished and everyone was buzzing. I don't remember much more than comparing how much i had, had to drink with James and then wondering why i felt like i did........ oh and playing "Where are you?" "I'm on the Bus" "Where are you" "I'm on the Bus too" REALLY loud on the bus on the way back to the station :) Excellent company, excellent music, just plain awesome! Plus i now have Prince's greatest hits in the car and can't stop listening to it :) 

We arrive and set up camp!

There he is, and the purple thing is heading for us! 

There has been so much going on! Christmas Parties in June, nights out on the town, accidents, incidents and lots of laughing along the way. One of the genius creations in my life at the moment is the Scotney Quote Board. Ever since i have worked in a tourist attraction i have always said i should write a book because so many things happen that are so funny and you always forget them. So i got slammed at work for not using my pin board above my desk what can i say i'm just not organised enough to be using one! I decided i was going to make mine into the quote board (living up to our expectations of the "Fun" office), to give you an insight into the board:

"A Siamese cat, is that a cat with a twin?" - Mike Lynch 

"I'm only 5ft and even i can get my leg over" - The Tapping 

"As long as my lips are moist i'll be fine" - The Tapping 

And many more talking about Baby Kangaroo's, Geriatric wards and Chatham Matalan! If you ever get the opportunity to visit our office don't miss it :) 

So it's only 3 weeks and 2 days till Ibiza, what more needs to be said to end a blog...........